November 10, 2013

A Matter Of Sleep

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , at 8:05 pm by Debbie

It’s a king. A king-sized bed. Big. Lots of room. And there I was, sleeping on one little sliver. It was time to conquer the bed.

Dave was no small man. And I don’t like anyone touching me while I sleep (don’t judge – maybe I’m claustrophobic.) So there was never much of a decision to make. The bed had to be a big one. Now, you’d think after a year without Dave that I would have figured out how to take full advantage of my “new” space. Not so much. Night after night, day after day, week after week, I was sleeping in one small portion of the bed. I decided to change my sleeping habits. Seriously, do you have any idea how hard that is?

I started by inching toward the center one night. But then I realized that our two bodies had made indents in the pillow top, creating a small hill in the center of the mattress. Okay, maybe not a hill, but it felt like it in the middle of the night. And no, my mattress isn’t more than ten years old. And yes, I know you’re suppose to change your mattress every eight years, like the commercial says, but I figure it takes nine years to remember to check how old your mattress is and then another year to actually get around to buying a new one. So, if mine is under ten, then I must be okay. A simple solution (though not really simple because it’s a two-person job and required me to enlist the assistance of my son, who really wasn’t interested in helping at that moment) was to rotate the mattress. Done.

Then I started inching toward the center. Again. It was kinda nice. Spacious, even. I slept well. And then morning came and I was too far away from my alarm clock to hit the snooze button and that really, really, really irritated me. So, I went back to sleep while my alarm was blaring. And I over slept.

Then I decided to angle my feet and legs in toward the center, keeping my head and arms close to the edge. Full utilization of the bed. Sleeping at an angle. Hands close to the snooze button. Win, win. Not so much. Apparently I was invading the dog’s territory at the foot of the other side of the bed, so he was up and down and bouncing around all night long. And I overslept.

Then I decided that I really didn’t need to conquer the bed. Not everything has to change. The dogs are happier this way. And I’m not oversleeping quite so much. And coming to the realization that not everything has to change was the real win, win.

January 4, 2013

Conquering The Closet

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , at 10:00 pm by Debbie

Imagine. The opportunity to have enough closet space to house all four seasons of clothes. In. The. Same. Closet. Who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity? And then there was the realization that I’d have a larger charitable contribution for the year. Bonus. And yet, that’s not what motivated me to remove, sort, sack and donate my husband’s clothes.

I started with the underwear drawer, assuming that would be the easiest. It’s underwear, for Pete’s sake. And then the socks. No sentiments there, either. I almost stopped. Twice. I kept thinking ‘what if this is some sick joke and Dave walks in the door tomorrow, after I’ve gotten rid of all his clothes?’ And socks. And underwear. Not a pretty picture.

No, no, I’m not in denial. I’m not delusional. I get it. It’s all very real. But still, there’s this one little place in your heart that wants to hold on to some possibility that any second you’ll wake up from the nightmare.

I finally decided that if he walked in the door, we’d go shopping. For socks. And underwear. With that thought in mind, I was able to press on with the task. I made three piles. One for trash, one to donate and one to keep (no underwear in that pile.)

When I finished I felt a huge sense of accomplishment, excitement for the closet space, and a feeling of goodwill for the donation I was about to make. But above all that, I had created a Dave Drawer. One drawer to hold the items I kept – a couple of ratty t-shirts from college, his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle PJs from recent hospital stays, and tidbits from the years in between.

And that, my friend, was my motivation.

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