April 7, 2013

Ring Around The Finger

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , at 4:17 pm by Debbie

It’s a tough decision. There isn’t a definitive right or wrong time. Each individual must decide what to do for themselves. As if adding another something-to-ponder to myriad others we (widows) find ourselves faced with makes it weigh less on our mind.

When, if ever, do I stop wearing my wedding ring?

The answer is a simple one: when it feels right.

My solution to the ring dilemma was to replace my wedding ring with one that’s symbolic and meaningful in another, perhaps more, special way. Before you start spreading rumors about how shocked you are that I would dismiss our wedding vows so quickly (which is probably the furthest thing from my mind right now), let me give you a little back story. . .

I haven’t worn the ring that Dave gave me on our wedding day for quite a number of years. Yes, I weigh the same today as I did then (minor miracle, I might add), so it still fits. No, I didn’t lose it or break it. It’s safely tucked away for the day that I will hand it down to my son. You see, the ring Dave gave me on our wedding day was a family heirloom, traditionally passed down to the first born. Dave was the first born. My son is the first born. My wedding band belongs to my son.

Which brings me back to my decision to nix the ring. The ring I was wearing carried little sentiment, other than its symbolic statement and the treasure those vows hold in my heart.

The new ring I’m now wearing is all of that and then some. It’s still a band and it’s still symbolic of our love. It has five ruby baguettes, each separated by a small round diamond. The four diamonds represent each member of our family. The rubies (my birthstone) represent strength and determination. Specifically, my need to find strength and stay determined to carry on. The fact that there are five of them was no accident – one for each decade of Dave’s life on earth. When I look at this ring, I am instantly reminded of Dave, my children and myself. And yet it’s simple, petite and doesn’t scream “you are married!”

Decision made. And it feels right.


  1. Candy said,

    That sounds like a very beautiful and symbolic ring! I love that you are saving your wedding ring for your oldest.

  2. Trish Fidler Turley said,

    That’s a beautiful symbol and wonderful decision. I miss and love you, Debbie! I think of you often.

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