February 20, 2013

The Somewhat Merry Widow’s Club

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , at 8:30 pm by Debbie

Here you are. A recent widow. It’s really an icky place to be. And not one you planned for. Not in your wildest dreams. All sorts of odd things will happen to you and within you. Your family, friends and acquaintances will show you all manner of sides. You’ll get the pity looks, the sad-eyed looks, the I-can’t-imagine looks. You’ll encounter those who want to hug you, mother you, take your pain away, love you. You’ll cross paths with those who don’t know anything about your story, don’t care about your story, and certainly don’t want to hear your story. And you’ll suddenly be surrounded by those who have traveled and are traveling the same journey. Those who really get it . . . Wait. What? Someone gets it?

The Somewhat Merry Widow’s Club.
The initiation is brutal. Invitations to join aren’t sent, they just happen. Listening skills are required at all times. Memories are shared, not for one-upmanship, but for understanding and compassion. The fee of helpful thoughts, suggestions and anecdotes are paid on an as-needed basis. Members partake in the common knowledge that they are not alone. And while every story is different, and every traveler is at a different place on their journey, our members all know, understand, and have shed the same tears. We won’t ask you to join, but we’ll certainly open our hearts when you do. The experience may make you feel, um, somewhat merry.

Okay. So The Somewhat Merry Window’s Club isn’t really real. And yet. It kinda is. I’ve shared countless emails with other widows introduced through blogs, a phone conversation with a Twitter friend from Texas whose journey started about a year before mine, and have plans for dinner with a dear friend who became a widow almost seven years ago. And let’s not forget my own mother. Seems other widows all sorta came out of nowhere. In a good way.

It was during a conversation with my Twitter buddy that I mentioned that this all feels like I’m being initiated into some odd club. She coined the club’s name. Kinda catchy, don’t you think?



  1. Joy Marcus said,

    Sounds like you have a very cool mom!

  2. Angie Sterling said,

    I admire your attitude and I love “A New Side To Normal.” Just thought I’d let you know that. I hope that you (and the children) are doing well. I think of Dave often (nearly every day) as he was a such bright spot here at the office. Take care.

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