January 4, 2013

Conquering The Closet

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , at 10:00 pm by Debbie

Imagine. The opportunity to have enough closet space to house all four seasons of clothes. In. The. Same. Closet. Who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity? And then there was the realization that I’d have a larger charitable contribution for the year. Bonus. And yet, that’s not what motivated me to remove, sort, sack and donate my husband’s clothes.

I started with the underwear drawer, assuming that would be the easiest. It’s underwear, for Pete’s sake. And then the socks. No sentiments there, either. I almost stopped. Twice. I kept thinking ‘what if this is some sick joke and Dave walks in the door tomorrow, after I’ve gotten rid of all his clothes?’ And socks. And underwear. Not a pretty picture.

No, no, I’m not in denial. I’m not delusional. I get it. It’s all very real. But still, there’s this one little place in your heart that wants to hold on to some possibility that any second you’ll wake up from the nightmare.

I finally decided that if he walked in the door, we’d go shopping. For socks. And underwear. With that thought in mind, I was able to press on with the task. I made three piles. One for trash, one to donate and one to keep (no underwear in that pile.)

When I finished I felt a huge sense of accomplishment, excitement for the closet space, and a feeling of goodwill for the donation I was about to make. But above all that, I had created a Dave Drawer. One drawer to hold the items I kept – a couple of ratty t-shirts from college, his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle PJs from recent hospital stays, and tidbits from the years in between.

And that, my friend, was my motivation.



  1. julia kalin said,

    Bravo Debbie! Difficult task accomplished, and a great way to start the new year. Now Dave can walk back in every time you visit his drawer. Donations can change lives, and Dave changed yours…
    Wishing you a little more peace every day for this new year.

    • Debbie said,

      I love that thought, Julie – our loved ones walking back in through our mementos of them. Beautiful.

  2. Joy Marcus said,

    Once again, your words make me tear up and smile. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with honesty and humor.

    • Debbie said,

      Thanks, Joy. Perhaps one day something I’ve said will resonate with and help someone who needs to smile through their tears. That’s my hope, anyway.

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