December 19, 2012

A Note To My Children

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , , at 8:42 pm by Debbie

The tragic events of last week have prompted countless suggestions on Facebook, in the news and in private conversations to hug your kids and tell them how much you love them. Of course my initial reaction was ‘why do we need a horrific event to remind us of something we should be doing every day?’ And then I came down off my high horse and wrote the following note to my children:

I remember those two days like they were yesterday. One in 1986, the second in 1989. As your father shed tears of joy, I shed tears of pain. Happy pain. No-drugs-during-delivery pain. Can-we-start-over-and-get-the-epideral-this-time pain. Twice. And I’d do it all over again, too.

Just the look on your dad’s face alone was worth every second. I thought he’d bust a shirt button when he saw that his first-born was a son. And no words can express the magical moment when he met his daughter for the first time. Cherished memories that don’t change, leave or disappear. Ever.

And as I reflect back on the year we’ve endured together, I feel a different kind of pain for you. Pain that only another parent could comprehend. One day you’ll understand that when your children hurt, so do you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a splinter on the butt from the playground, stitches in the eyebrow from a fall, anger at the loss of an important game, frustration at not nailing that dance move, heartache over young love, or the pain of saying goodbye to a loved one. It’s all pain. It’s all in my heart, too. And I have at least one gray hair (cleverly concealed) to represent every one of those moments in your lives.

Unfortunately, I can’t take that pain away. Not when you were little. Not now. Not ever. Those are the moments of your lives, that when strung together with the happy times, make you who you are. And you’re both pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.

What I can do is listen. I can remind you that I’m here for you. I can kiss the booboo. I can tell you how much I love you. And can I pray that there is never a day in your life that you doubt how much your daddy loved you, too. Always and forever.

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