November 26, 2012

None Of The Above

Posted in Uncategorized tagged , , , , , , at 8:12 pm by Debbie

Warning: Rant Ahead.

There I sat. Staring. Not really sure what to do. “None of the above” wasn’t one of my choices. I tried to skip the question, but I couldn’t. I was tempted to pass on the questionnaire all together, but I couldn’t. Am I married, single or divorced?

Okay, so the divorced option was an easy one to omit. Though, just between us, I secretly think it would be fun to be the psycho-ex. But, that’s only because I watched too many soap operas during my college years. Moving on. . .

I get it. Legally, I’m single. The truth is, I don’t feel single. Not right now. Perhaps not ever. I still feel married. I don’t want to be not married. But, fate played the “death do us part” card.

So, to the creators of surveys, inquiries, forms and other mode of gaining information from people:

If you ask me my marital status and only provide check boxes for “married”, “single” and “divorced”, please have the decency to include one that says “none of the above”. Or better yet, why not go out on a limb and add “widowed”?

I realize that you probably don’t care that I’m a widow. You’re likely only interested in whether or not I’m married and don’t give two snots if I’m single or divorced, either. Perhaps you care that you’ve insulted me?

Why is there always a check box for “divorced”? They’re single, too. Though there are a few similarities, being widowed is not the same as being divorced (that’s probably a discussion for another day). At least a divorced couple can meet up on neutral ground and say nasty things to each other.

Let’s pretend you have a modicum of knowledge of what it’s like to be suddenly yanked from your life and thrown into something foreign, uncomfortable, sad and shocking. Lets pretend the word “widowed” isn’t a bad word. Let’s pretend it matters. Let’s get that little check box added, shall we? Either that, or let me hide behind “none of the above”.

*sigh* *eye roll*
End rant.



  1. Cyndy Leeka said,

    *slight grin* *tear* *hug*

  2. sunnyjane said,

    I haven’t come across that yet… but yeah – I would hate having to put single when I’m widowed… *sigh*

  3. Cathie said,

    My mom was widowed when I was 2. I never even thought of all of this before. Wow. Thanks for reminding me to give her an even bigger hug the next time I see her…. 🙂 (p.s., love what you have to say……and think…..and feel…. 🙂

  4. said,

    You go girl!! You get it. Hope things are going as well as possible. We still miss him also.

    Take care Scott and Naomie

  5. Lynne said,

    Amen…..I know exactly how you feel! Wait until you do your taxes….

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