October 8, 2012

Repairs R Us

Posted in Shock tagged , , , , at 9:08 pm by Debbie

I’m seriously considering a new a career. Duds Fixed By Debbie. Or, Debbie Does Repairs. I’ll figure that part out later. In the 18 days since my husband died, we’ve conquered repairs with a gutter, a car, a vacuum cleaner and a washing machine, plus work on a wall that we had started but didn’t finish before Dave went into the hospital. All of that and one of my dogs has started to bark at the toilet. More about that in a minute.

The celebration here is that I was able to address each situation with a level head and make smart decisions. First the gutter. That one was easy. Call in the big brother who is in construction. I know. That one almost doesn’t count.

Next up, my son’s less-than-two-month-old car. It started goofing off. In a bad way. Second time around. I convinced him to call the dealer, even though he had now owned it more than thirty days. Boom. Two points for Mom. Turns out the first part was a dud. New fix free of charge. Of course.

Next up, the vacuum cleaner. It stopped working. Screwdriver in hand, I threatened it with its life. Then I took the thing apart. Found a busted part. Got the new part and fixed it myself. $7 repair bill. Wish I could charge someone for my labor.

And finally, the big one. The washing machine. Do i have it repaired under a home owner warranty that expires in a few days or take the cash-out and get a new machine? I was lucky it pooped out while still under the warranty. I’m never lucky. I took that as a sign. New machine delivers later this week.

I explain all of this not to get sympathy or to showcase my woes. I want anyone who is reading this to understand and believe, as I do, two important points. First of all, life happens no matter what else may be going on. My gutter and washer don’t care that I’m grieving. They were done. So, I have to continue to be in the moment to deal with whatever comes my way. Secondly, decisions that used to be made with a team of two now must be made with one. We made each other stronger. I’ve found that I’m able to pull from that strength to be the one I need to be.

The dog? I dunno. He used to drink out of the toilet all the time. Just this past week he has started to bark at the toilet whenever he wants a drink. I remind him where his (always fresh) water bowl is located and he seems to be okay with that. I wonder if my husband is haunting the toilet? If you had known him, you wouldn’t think that was much of a stretch. πŸ™‚



  1. Lisa said,

    Great post, and great job getting through one repair at a time! You’re doing great and the Sun still comes up every morning.

    • Debbie said,

      Thanks, Lisa. One day at a time.

  2. I think it sounds like you’re doing great, all things considered. Hang in there – sending you love and a big hug.

    • Debbie said,

      Thank you, Shelly!

  3. Sherri Cross said,

    You are probably one of the strongest woman I know. Thinking of you often. Call if you’d like to go out for dinner and drinks.

    • Debbie said,

      Hmmm. Not sure about the strong part, but I’m always up for dinner! πŸ™‚

  4. Kelly Guerra said,

    Great first blog!

  5. Eddie said,

    Debbie, everyone knows that you are a fighter and now you have proven to us also that you are a repairlady!!

    • Debbie said,

      And no butt cracks!

  6. FishSouthBay said,

    Debbie, thank you for continuing to write and share your life with us folks that only know you through Dave and Fish Window Cleaning. The grieving process is different for everyone – thanks for sharing via CaringBridge and now via your blog.

    Though grief is part of your personal journey now, sharing with others makes the world a brighter place and will hopefully help you transition to your “new normal”. Always remember that our thoughts and prayers are with you.

    You are one heck of an engaging writer and I look forward to following!

    On another note, my garage door is squeaking, any thoughts?

  7. Trish Fidler Turley said,

    Debbie, you are truly an inspiration. I have always looked up to you and still do. You have such strength and a wonderful outlook. I think of you and the kids every day. I know its hard without Dave. Heck, I feel his loss and I’m in Tennessee. Please know how much you are loved and admired. I wish there was some way I could help you. Please know I’m just a phone call away. You rock, big sis!

    Trish Fidler Turley

    • Debbie said,

      Funny, and I always wanted to be as sweet as you are. I just could never muster it up. πŸ™‚ Hugs and Kisses, lil sis!

  8. Becky Garling said,

    You are a smart, witty and clever writer.
    I have learned over the past month and when people ask me “how are you?” , I need to respond I am good! I cannot complain when I have friends that are grieving and learning to go on without their partners and children.
    I am thinking of you daily and hope you gain strength from the people who love you!

    • Debbie said,

      Thank you, my friend. I kinda feel like I should always respond with “I’m okay” when asked how I’m doing, also. I know that there are so many who have had it much worse. And the truth is, I will be okay. I have an overwhelming amount of love and support in my corner.

  9. julia kalin said,

    A book is born…keep writing. You have a way of pulling people in and keeping them eager and engaged! Glad to read that you have found a vessel to work through to the other side of grief. My thoughts are on you every day. I hunger for the “good old days” of college life and truly treasure all those memories of you and Dave. Keep fryin bacon nekkid and we’ll all keep cheering you on.

    • Debbie said,

      I’m just putting words to the garble in my head. But, thank you. πŸ™‚

  10. Cathie Meuser said,

    That. Was. Awesome. πŸ™‚

    • Debbie said,

      You. Are. The. Awesome. One. πŸ™‚

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